Written by Kendayl
I know there are some boss women and boss men out there who struggle with mental illness, and that’s not limited to depression and anxiety either, the list can be endless. I am one of the women in the great percentage of women who struggle with anxiety and depression and I know how hard it is to remain positive when you’re basically fighting your own mind. It’s not easy, but I do have a few tips on how to make being a boss and remaining a boss a little easier.
- Realize that you are NOT “your” mental illness. Do not let it control you and your daily life. It took me four months to realize that I am NOT “my” anxiety and I am NOT “my” depression.
- Don’t claim it as yours. In the first tip, I put my in quotations because mental illness isn’t you and you are not mental illness. You don’t belong to depression, you don’t belong to anxiety and you can overcome it! Saying that it is “your” depression and anxiety is giving it control over your life. Fight it. Never give up fighting.
- Take your medication. Some people aren’t on medication for depression and/or anxiety, but if you are, take your medication. This is not a “don’t take those pills” post, if you truly need them, they were prescribed to you for a reason. If you feel as if you don’t need them anymore, talk to your psychiatrist about it and see what can be done, but don’t just go rogue and not take your meds. It doesn’t make you crazy to take them, it doesn’t make you weak, sometimes you just need a little help; but please, do not become dependent on your medication. Everything you take, take in moderation and only take what was prescribed to you, no more, no less.
- There will be days where you literally cannot will yourself to get out of bed, there will be days where everything goes wrong and you have an anxiety attack, there will be days where you’re down on yourself for lack of productivity, but I’m here to tell you that you can get through those days! On your worst day, stop whatever you’re doing, count to ten and sync your breaths with your counting, inhale at 1 and exhale at 10, from 10, inhale and exhale a 1. Be your biggest support system if you don’t have one. Remember that you are a boss and you can handle anything that life tries to throw at you. But also know that having one off day doesn’t mean you’re a failure, having one off day doesn’t mean you’re worthless or useless. You are human, you are allowed to have off days. You are a beautiful Queen who can get through the toughest of days! And for the fellas, you are a handsome King who can get through anything!
- When you feel your day going downhill, jump into something positive. For me, when I feel an anxiety attack coming on, I immediately start playing with my kittens and if they’re sleeping, I tend to plan things out, like my future, where do I see myself in 5 years, or I write out business plans or because I’m a designer, I sketch. Now, if all else fails, I will take my meds. There is no shame in that, sometimes my anxiety gets beyond my control, but I am in no way shape or form addicted to my medicine. If you’re not on meds, that doesn’t make anything less valid, you can still imagine yourself in a happy place, which i know is very cliche, but it works. Breathe. That is the main thing, BREATHE. I know, with anxiety, it gets very hard to breathe and that’s where everything spirals out of control. If you’re into yoga, do that, immediately. Find a way to relax your body from the inside out.
- Remember that you are powerful, you are a boss! Don’t trick yourself into thinking you are weak for having this illness because you’re not! You are strong! You are a warrior! Flex on them haters, let people know that you are here and mean business!! Believe in yourself and go forth in the world as a positive light, spreading positivity and love amongst others! Y’all got this!
- Support is so important. While dealing with something like depression or anxiety, you do NOT need any toxic person around you. Spirits travel and they will only make things harder for you boo, sorry to tell you. If someone can’t support you or treats you like a burden because you’re stuck in a rut that’s out of your control or if someone can’t support you because they’re too busy being selfish and worrying about themselves, or other people, over you, distance yourself. You need to focus on making yourself better and if that person or group of people can’t support you, it’s best to distance yourself to avoid any setbacks in your progress. Having anxiety, support is something that I really look for in people closest to me because I know how frustrating it is to hear people say that what you’re going through isn’t real because you seem fine on the outside. That’s why I am personally so big on supporting others. Support! Support! Support!
- Don’t doubt yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to, and I know that sounds very 2nd grade teacher of me, but it’s true! You want to start a YouTube channel? Do it! You want to start a business? Do it! You want to go back to school? Do it! Figure out the necessary steps to accomplishing your goals, plan everything out thoroughly and do it! Don’t hold yourself back from your own blessings. Don’t let your own mind tell you that you can’t, because that’s a lie. You can and you will!